Phased Density Shifting

Okay, so this big bounty hunter named Jeger once came after me, looking for a secret archive I had accidentally downloaded into my brain. And get this: the guy could seemingly dematerialize his body and pass through solid objects. His ship did the same thing when we fired missiles at it. So how did he pull off this handy trick? At the time I thought it was phased density shifting -- rearranging your molecules to pass through the gaps between atoms in another object. But upon further consideration, this is problematic. It seems like your molecules would lose coherence as they passed through the the object, leaving you in a puddle of protoplasm on the floor. Not very useful, unless your life's ambition is to end up in a mop pail. I've got a few other theories about how Mr. Tall, Dark, and Teutonic might have worked his molecular magic, but nothing I'm ready to share yet. Stay tuned.

Point Singularity Projector (PSP)

As if the wall walking thing wasn't scary enough, this was downright terrifying. In the course of tangling with Jeger's ship, we got hit by a bullet from a Point Singularity Projector (PSP). What's a PSP, you ask? It's basically a gun that fires tiny black holes at its target. The point singularity has a tiny Swarzschild radius -- a few centimeters, at most -- but it goes through you with the mass of a small planet. Ouch!

The energy requirements to create an artificial singularity and then push it toward a target at a decent percentage of light speed are simply staggering. My working theory is that the PSP manages to "cheat" the energy requirements somehow -- maybe by folding space using some method we haven't seen yet. But it's all speculation at this point, because the closest we've come to an actual PSP is getting a point singularity drilled through our hull.

In any event, whoever gave this stuff to Jeger (we don¹t know, but I'll bet they're connected to the human lava lamp we saw in the Brandenberg Tor file) has access to technology that's centuries beyond what the Commonwealth had in its heyday. Which scares the hell out of me, but more to the point, makes me want some of my own.

The Secret to True Happiness

Hey, I'm serious. Why do people laugh whenever I tell them that?